A vegetarian in Germany

"Germans love their pork," agreed my vegetarian friend. "When I was there, pork was everywhere, but I never saw a pig. Not one."

"Do they keep 'em in the basement?" I wondered.

She made the 'it's a mystery wrapped in bacon' face.

We were talking about Oktoberfest for vegetarians. It's tough to include them in a culinary celebration of the land of wurst and schnitzel, but I'm willing to give it a go.

My mom used to make a dish with kielbasa, sauerkraut and beans. This recipe echoes those flavors.

No-Pork and Beans

1 tablespoon oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 large yellow onion, peeled, halved and sliced thin
8-10 medium-sized mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1 small apple, peeled, cored, and diced
1 (14-16 oz.) can great northern beans, drained and rinsed

Seasoning mix
1 teaspoon granulated garlic
1 teaspoon marjoram
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Dash of ground mace (nutmeg or allspice would be acceptable substitutes)

Heat oil and butter in a large frying pan over medium heat. After butter has melted, add sliced onions and  cook until lightly browned and soft, about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms, and sprinkle with some of the seasoning mix (1/2 teaspoon) until mushrooms start to brown. Add diced apple and heat for 5 minutes. Add rinsed, drained beans and sprinkle with another 1/2 teaspoon of seasoning mix. Reduce heat and cover. Simmer for 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Taste and adjust seasoning accordingly.

Serve with bavarian mustard and sauerkraut.

Non-vegetarian note: I added some sautéed chicken and crumbled bits of bacon to this dish and served it over rice for an easy supper.

The Power of Pretzel Rolls

If you had a time machine, would you want to stop by the mid-nineties? 

(What is she doing on the Who Wants to Be Millionaire set? Surely she doesn't need the money!)

Be assured that I was not singing this tune when I first made these chewy, salty dinner rolls, but regardless of any difference of opinion we may have vis à vis Céline Dion, you ought to reach for these at your Oktoberfest party.

If you want the quick-rising food processor version, visit the original recipe at epicurious.com. It appeared in Bon Apétit in January of '94. I made them one day that winter, and my man's been pining for them ever since.* That's the power of pretzel rolls.

My bread-machine version appears below. With no egg or dairy in the dough, it is suitable for the timer. You may want to double the recipe.

Bread Machine Pretzel Rolls, modified from Bon Apétit
(Makes 8 large rolls)
Ingredient list A 
2 3/4 cups bread flour
2 1/4 teaspoon yeast
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground celery seeds
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons room temperature water

B
Cornmeal
8 cups water
1/4 cup baking soda
2 tablespoons sugar

C
1 egg white, beaten to blend
Coarse salt

Add ingredient list A to your bread machine according to manufacturer instructions, set for dough cycle (using the timer if you'd like), and press start. Once cycle is complete, empty dough onto a floured surface and divide into 8 equal pieces. Shape into balls, flatten slightly, cut an 'X' in the top of each ball and allow to rest under plastic wrap as you take the next steps.

Be sure one of your oven racks is in the middle slot. Preheat oven to 375ºF.

(Ingredient list B) Grease or line a baking tray and sprinkle with cornmeal. In a large pan, bring 8 cups water to a boil. Add sugar and soda: the water will foam up. Drop rolls into boiling mixture, 4 rolls at a time, for 30 seconds per side. Transfer, cut side up, to prepared baking sheet.

(Ingredient list C) Brush each roll with egg white. Sprinkle with coarse salt.

Bake at 375ºF for 25 minutes. Remove rolls and place on rack. Allow them to cool for 10 minutes before serving.

*Whilst he languishes, he does not ever call me "his lady", which is good, because that would be a little less romantic and a little more Jerry Lewis.

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Homemade Potato Salad

Here at Shindigs, we're gearing up for football a la Octoberfest. So why this old-fashioned, un-vinegared, southern-style potato salad? Well, one, because potato salad goes with bratwurst. Two, the classic German variety has bacon, and I like a vegetarian option on the table. Three, this is a do-ahead recipe.

Mostly, I serve it because I like it. If people complain about the authenticity, tell them to pretend like it's fusion. And in that spirit, don't you worry about the calories, liebling. You ain't no bigger than a minute.

Aunt Wannie's Potato Salad

3 stalks celery, washed, trimmed, and finely diced

2 medium radishes, washed, trimmed, and finely diced

1/4 cup minced onion

3/4 cup finely diced sweet pickles

3 hard-boiled eggs, shelled and diced

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup sour cream

1 tablespoon spicy brown mustard

2 tablespoons sweet pickle juice if you ned to thin it out

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

3 shakes black pepper

4 cups washed, peeled, cooked, cooled, cubed potatoes

Mix the first 4 ingredients in a bowl and set aside. Don't be lazy and skip this step: you want to toss the ingredients as little as possible once you add the potatoes, or else your potatoes will break down.

In a second bowl, mix mayonnaise, sour cream, mustard, pickle juice, salt and pepper. Yes, it's a lot of salt, but the potatoes like it. Even though you salted your potato water.

Place about half of the potatoes in a large bowl. Sprinkle about half of the veggies over the top, then about half of the eggs. Pour about half of the dressing over this. Repeat the layering process, and then gently toss to coat the potatoes. Refrigerate and let chill for 4-24 hours before serving.